It is amazing what attitudes can do to life! Now I just wish I can change my attitude on a certain issue that is making my life rather miserable.
I need my cheering squad as I get ready to make some decisions...
Fingers n toes crossed
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
They say it happens, I said it will not. How can something so heart-wrenching become matter-of-fact. In fact, I vowed that I will not let it happen.
It happened yesterday. The usual lump in the throat, the tears swimming in the eyes were absent. I was calm and composed as I spoke about losing my grandpa and the pain I felt after that.
I hate myself for it. How can I do it? How can I talk about losing my grandpa in such a matter-of-factly way?
I hate myself.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
The picture is really bad but that is the best my cell phone can capture.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Why is it that some people always pick out the non-existent and not appreciate what has been done perfectly?
And why is it that I put up with such people and torture myself?
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
I stayed in a hostel for 4 years during my under grad days. Like most I have good and bad memories of those days. It was fun and dreadful at the same time. One of the things which I hated was obviously the messed up food served at the mess. I survived 4 years on chocolate bars, frequent visits home, bulging food parcels from home and a random visit to the mess.
Our mess served chapatis dipped in oil for lunch and occasionally dinner. Oil adds a distinct heaviness to the air and the smell of oil in a dimly lit room, with 300+ girls noisily chattering is probably not any one's favorite. Why do I tell you all this ?
Yesterday, lunch time I stepped out into what is Fall like weather in Houston from a freezing office. In the typical flimi style, I opened the glass door separating me from the outdoor warmth, lifted my face to the sun, and took a gulp of fresh air.
Then I smelled it - I am not sure if the smell was a part of my over reactive brain and hungry tummy but I could clearly smell mess chapatis and the oil. It took me back to those days.... Long lines, laughter, stupid jokes, tense moments before the tests, the complaints over inedible food, the crushes and heartbreaks and more.
Laugh at me if you want to (I did at myself), but for a crazy moment I missed college mess food and the memories that cling to oil dipped chapatis..
Nostalgia and memories are bitter-sweet and I seem to be reliving and drawing energy from the past a lot these days...
Do you have any things you hated when you were younger and miss them today?
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
The post below will probably not make sense to you. So do skip it. I just needed to get it out.
********
I am plain baffled by how human nature and concepts about loyalty, and expectations vary. I just cannot believe I totally misunderstood/misjudged someone. My intuition I trust so much let me down. I admit I had apprehensions but I squashed them because I did not want to have a closed mind. Over a period of time, I even convinced myself that my intuition told me something else. I refused to accept the truth in front of me for ages, I gave excuses for me and others involved. I finally got the required guts to admit it was in vain and I just kept fooling myself to save heartache. I was leaping over broken bridges hoping they could be mended. But it was an illusion. I have quit making excuses. I am ready for closure. Closure means raking up the past, experience the bitter-sweet feeling of nostalgia seep through me, say goodbye and then think of the next move. There is definitely a next move because I can run but not hide. And it is time I learned some lessons out of this incident. As humans, we are flawed but then is it reasonable to point fingers to justify one's actions I wonder.
It hurts coz I lose a lot. I hate to make my happy memories bitter-sweet. I hate to close the door but I do need to do it for my peace of mind. I know I cannot get peace for the longed time coz it is bound to go around.
I am baffled by human nature and more so by my actions and reactions.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Warning:
Rant ahead! Read at your own risk
There are times I wish I was still the carefree person I was. Times like yesterday and today when the old me would have walked out... The new me, grins rather sheepishly and whines behind the back.
I wish I were strong and brave enough.... I wish I will have someone giving me the much needed push...
Fingers crossed!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
This was something I typed out a few days back but never got around completing or posting.. before it is too late and before Ike becomes old news here were go,
I have been out of home since 6.30am and I have no idea if we have power back at home. If CenterPoint's plan of action is to be taken seriously, we will not have power till later next week (beyond Monday, Sept 22). Definitely not a welcoming prospect. We have spent so far 6 nights without power, the saving grace is we have running water.
As positively as I would like to take this experience, at the prospect of spending atleast another 4-5 days without power is tough. We also have electric cooking range and other appliances so there is no cooking being done at home also. The laundry is piled mountain high. There are friends who have power restored and might be we need to take refuge at one of their places. But somehow, I feel so uncomfortable with the idea. Nothing against friends bu I just want to be at home, might be safeguard the home from being blown away? I do not know where I got this feeling from. It is new. I always feel happy and proud of my home but never felt that I cannot stay away from it. But that is my feeling right now.
I am not sure if the crews who were around last night are still there. The crews did mention there was substantial damage but said it could be fixed in a day or two. But after seeing the map of action, I am losing faith. I am not even sure when and if we'll get power.
One of my friends on Twitter, asked me what are the advantages and disadvantages of being without power. I thought about it. The timing was wrong. If he had asked me on Saturday (the first day) the balance would have been different. But here we go,
Advantages of not having power
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
After 7 long nights we finally have electricity
I am oh so happy
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
I am not an inflatable's fan but this smiling pumpkin reminds me festive season is here - navrathri, the poojas, halloween, deepavali, thanksgiving, karthikai, christmas.... Time to smile and move on.
I do hope we get power soon. Just like I have been hoping for the past 7 days.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Blogging is fun but it does has its own drawbacks. What you think is for a private audience sometimes is world news. Read about the Ike survival story of a Baytown teacher creating waves
****************************
On another note, I realized the photos from last night at Udipi are not the best. And we are still without power.
thanks Udipi for bringing me the street food experience in Houston. Dosai on disposable plates served hot off the outdoor griddle. The tables face the usually crowded Hillcroft partly in darkness. Yum!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Our fifth night without power. The camping out feeling is slowly losing its charm. According to Center Point Energy which is supposed to fix our lines, we are a 7000 odd people sharing the line that has some trees on it and they will be getting to it soon.
Many restaurants are up and running. Lines in gas stations continue, a midnight to 6am curfew exists and 2.1 million homes are still in darkness.
R is back to routine work and I might be heading tomorrow depending on over night developments. More as things progress.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Now how I wish we had some good ole vanilla icecream to go with this.... More photos from our dinner tonight when the power comes back...
Hopefully soon
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
It is the availabilty of fuel in limited gas stations and cars flocking those gas stations. I counted 5 cops helping manage the crowd at one just one gas station. The lines near any gas station with supplies is crazy. It is crazy around here - believe me
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
My office building is out of power so we are not working for God knows how long.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
And we are predicted to have temperatures in the lower 60s and low humidity - a rarity in Houston summer. The breeze is amazingly cool, perfect night to open the windows and sit in the patio and relax. No power and no lights means no interference of computers, laptops, cooking, laundry and I can go on and on. So we sit and talk as darkness falls. We talk of dreams, hopes and morrow. Life as they say is good.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
The best place to beat the heat seems to be the Galleria mall. Most stores are closed, but AC is on and tons of place to hang around, charge those phones and just get out of the depressing sights around home.
Looks like most of Houston is here. In fact, this place is more crowded than during the after Thanksgiving sales. A few stores are open and the food court is partly open and doing very brisk sales.
Photos coming soon. We are spending some time here before heading home for the day.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Just what we needed - a front moving in and bringing rain this morning. .More than a couple of inches to an already water-logged Houston.
But it has cleared out to a rather sunny afternoon. We feasted on chapathi and paneer so we are not starving...
Cell phone services especially Tmobile services are very bad. So blog updates, phone calls are on hold.
More later
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
As of last night we are without power. We spent the night at my dance studio with my dance teacher's family. The studio has power and running water. So we made good use of it.
We are keeping our fingers crossed hoping we get power soon. But then we are the lucky, ike really did not do anything much to us so we'll be fine.
Yesterday, as the first light came in around 7am with the winds still howling, we walked inside the house checked for leaks and indications of damage. Nothing. We peeped outside our windows, a few trees limbs down and we were fine. Later we walked and drove around and it depressed and scared us. We are not flooded in but there are huge trees uprooted, roofs blown off, sign boards twisted, traffic lights hanging in queer angles, power lines down. The damage in the 5-mile radius around home is bad. Which makes us more grateful for the fact that our house stood Ike without troubles.
Gulf Coast will need time and money to recover and I am not sure when things will vaguely resemble normal. We have pictures and once the power is back, they will be up.
Thanks and stay safe
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
We are at our friend's place enjoying BBQ.... All is well, cellphone is dying down, so this will probably be my last update till we charge up.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
As the day lightens up, I have started seeing activity around. Perched on the bed, near the window, I see cars, SUVs make their way exploring town. People stepping out of homes and talking, the birds flying around signalling the return of normalcy, the wails from sirens as ambulances and fire engines make their ways.
We are safe and lazy. Reading books and enjoying a rather slow Saturday by the window!
We hear news of flooding and devastation around Houston. We are lucky to have escaped everything. So far so good.
Thanks again for all the phone calls and emails and scraps. We are touched and indeed blessed.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
I seem to be having connectivity issues and may not be able to continue blogging. Hopefully the recovery period is fast and everything works out fine. Till the next time!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
There is still hurricane force winds and rains. No flooding, no damage in our area and home so far. Power is still out, earliest we can expect is probably this evening. Not sure though.
Harris County where we live is under all kinds of weather related watches, tornado, flash flood and flood. It sounds omnious but we are really fine.
The books I stocked up are our source of entertainment currently. We are blissfully cocooned in our world and we watch the winds blow, and rain fall as we read books and share trivia and dreams with each other.
Thanks for everyone's wishes, prayers and concern. Will keep updating as long as my phone is charged!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Ike is still battering Houston rather mercilessly. I has been hours and hours of forceful winds and rain slamming against our house.
No power still. We are not following any newscasts and we hope this things moves fast and the clean-up crews are able to hit the roads soon.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
The hurricane is passing through just as I type this out. The winds are so strong and howling. The rain intensity does not seem to be too bad as of now.
A peek outside the window and the world looks like a bhoot bunglow - all dark, howling winds, splattering rain. Ram Gopal Varma sure will love.
The Medical Center - the largest in the world has also lost power. Without the comforting glow of lights at the yonder it does seem odd. I see silvers of light here and there but not more.
The next 4 hrs or so, Ike is bound to show its wrath on us and then leave. So far so good. We are riding the hurricane!
Hope the destruction has not been too bad.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
The winds are getting stronger, rain pelting down, an eerie silence but for the sound of rain and wind, neighborhood in darkness..
Update at almost midnight!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Almost 11pm 6riday night and we are enjoying a candle light feast of jim jam biscuits in bed as we hear howling winds.
The winds have picked up but not much rain. Many neighbors still have power but no complaints as of now
More later!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
It is 9.30 pm on friday and we just lost power. It seems very localized. Our neighbors still have power still.
Will keep the blog updated as long as possible.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
The winds are getting stronger and faster. The news cast says it is around 30 miles an hour gusts and we finally closed our patio door.
Got a call from family back in India worrying... nothing seems to reassure them. We are safely glued to our computers at home.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Is it only me or does everyone burn their finger nails once in a while? Accidentally of course! At regular frequencies, I seem to burn the tips of my nails.
Weird huh?
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Finally I got around updating our travel blog ... Take a look
Part 1 of our trip to Dubai
Wine Country Texas
Desert Safari in Dubai Vs. Hawaiian Luau
We were at Chennai Egmore heading towards Trichy and my dad pointed out to this board and asked us to read what was written in Tamil. Go ahead try reading it if you know Tamil.
We could really not make head or tail out of it and then he pointed to the English version.
Phew! Reading a so easy English sentence in Tamil is quite strange. I strongly recommend Coffee Day to have a tamil tag line instead of writing "A lot can happen over coffee" in Tamil. On the same note, Parfait 3 whose tag line goes "Bistro more than a cafe" sounds really strange when you read it in Tamil.
The writings are clearer when you click on the photos
