The post below will probably not make sense to you. So do skip it. I just needed to get it out.
I am plain baffled by how human nature and concepts about loyalty, and expectations vary. I just cannot believe I totally misunderstood/misjudged someone. My intuition I trust so much let me down. I admit I had apprehensions but I squashed them because I did not want to have a closed mind. Over a period of time, I even convinced myself that my intuition told me something else. I refused to accept the truth in front of me for ages, I gave excuses for me and others involved. I finally got the required guts to admit it was in vain and I just kept fooling myself to save heartache. I was leaping over broken bridges hoping they could be mended. But it was an illusion. I have quit making excuses. I am ready for closure. Closure means raking up the past, experience the bitter-sweet feeling of nostalgia seep through me, say goodbye and then think of the next move. There is definitely a next move because I can run but not hide. And it is time I learned some lessons out of this incident. As humans, we are flawed but then is it reasonable to point fingers to justify one's actions I wonder.
It hurts coz I lose a lot. I hate to make my happy memories bitter-sweet. I hate to close the door but I do need to do it for my peace of mind. I know I cannot get peace for the longed time coz it is bound to go around.
I am baffled by human nature and more so by my actions and reactions.
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Kavi said...

There is a new Ike in you !

As it happened to Ike, this too shall pass. And the sun will be out !

Hold on !