I often wonder how V changes suddenly.. one minute she is her usual self.. going around with her chores and me lying partly forgotten and then the next minute, I am her best pal.. she hugs me and sobs all over me and it lies on my shoulders to console her and make her smile. Even R can not handle these moments, I know how she feels and how big a loss it was for her.
It is almost three years but I remember it vividly and I am sure V does it too, the pain and and the heart wrenching tears are never forgotten. I have never seen V like that, not even when her first crush broke her heart when she was all of 9. Losing your loved one is never easy and sometimes I wonder if the pain ever goes away. It never does, it just stays suppressed in the heart and then there is a meltdown.. just like today. V was fine, taking a lunch break between classes and then suddenly something somewhere reminds her of her loss and it is tears and pain. She hid in the girls room weeping her heart out and came out with red puffy eyes. She gave her standard allergies excuse and moved on with life. But I know every minute she misses him and she'll give up anything in this world (me and R included) to get him back.
She owes him everything she is today and she says a small thanks to him everyday with a small weepy smile ... and life goes on.....
I wonder will the pain every go away? Never I guess... V will never stop missing her grandpa and wishing he was here today to see and share her happiness....
I am sure right now as her eyes well up with unshed tears she is whispering, "mamaiyaa I miss you.. you promised me .. it is not fair... I love you and I miss you"
